i was ready to just scroll past like “haha grammar humor” but then it was weird al and i,
sorry kids you’re either going to have to get a job or go to uni
oh but uni’s probably going to cost you more so you’ll need to do both
also we don’t have enough jobs for you
giant barks and teeny mews
that is all
I have become rather fearful I suppose. (via snowdealer)
1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.
2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.
3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.
4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.
5. Fart when you have to.
6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!
7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.❞
Seven Simple Ways To Free Yourself, from girl to girl (via fawnbabe)